For a very long time, I found it hard to refuse people whenever they asked me for favors, even though granting the favor would be an inconvenience, it seemed my lips and the word “NO” had a disagreement, I just couldn’t refuse. Will you call that being too nice or being a pushover? I don’t know.
“Wielded wisely, No is an instrument of integrity and a shield against exploitation. It often takes courage to say. It is hard to receive. But setting limits sets us free.” -Judith Sills (source)
I saw a tweet a few days ago, and it talked about how saying ‘No’ empowers you, and I honestly couldn’t agree more. Being able to tell someone “No” brings with it some kind of respect from the other person. They respect your space and your opinion and realize that they can’t always get what they want with you…this is especially for those who feel they can take advantage of you.
A friend of mine told me how he refused to help a girl that felt she was the Madam of the area. He refused just because he didn’t feel like inconveniencing himself for her at that moment. She tried sweet talking her way into his help, but he stood by his ‘no’. You can be sure that from that moment, she saw him in a different light. New respect gained.
One day I just decided that I no longer wanted to put myself in situations that will either make me uncomfortable or annoyed. For example agreeing to hang out with someone when you know you really don’t want to, but just because they pleaded, you oblige, or borrowing money out to someone when you don’t have enough for yourself, just because they gave a sad helpless story. NO! No more of that please. If you can’t do it, just politely decline.
Personally, I am not yet a “No pro”, but I’ve made immense progress and believe me when I say, I am definitely breathing easier!
Saying NO could be really liberating, especially when you know you don’t have to do something when you don’t want to. It shows people that you have a mind of your own and can stand your ground, hence you won’t be seen as a doormat. The fact that you refuse certain people doesn’t make you a bad person, please don’t let anybody make you feel that way.
So tell me, do you have any ‘No’ experiences? Is it easy for you to tell people ‘No’ when asked for a favor you can’t or don’t wish to help with? Share with me below.