A friend of mine once told me that whenever he see’s a woman who is in a relationship and lacks confidence in herself, he wonders the kind of man she’s dating. As much as it is up to an individual to work on and build their self confidence, the partner/spouse of said individual also has a huge role to play…i’ll tell you why
Ideally, when you are in a relationship, most of your attention and time goes to your partner…you become like number 5&6 with each other, hence your partner is in a position to have the most effect and impact in your life. Ever heard the saying “the one you love the most is the one with the power to hurt you the most”? Well, the same goes for the opposite, the one you love the most is also the one with the most power to make you the happiest on earth, the one who can make you feel like you’re the queen/king of the universe.
The way a person makes their partner feel always ALWAYS shines through in their attitude and the way they carry themselves.
Let’s compare two relationships to drive home the point of this post;
Scenario 1: The man always puts his woman down, always has something negative to say about her, never compliments her and always criticizes. This constant criticism makes her feel less of herself, makes her feel like she’s incompetent and not capable of doing anything right.
Scenario 2: The man looks at his woman like she’s the only woman in the room, he never fails to tell her how beautiful she is and how lucky he is to have her, he showers her with gifts and affection and makes it a point of duty to encourage her in whatever she does. He never leaves room for self-doubt in her mind, he always has a “you can do it!” at the tip of his tongue when she begins to doubt herself.
Now I want you to picture these two women walking down your street, can you guess which of them will be walking with a confident gait, head held high and which one will be walking timidly, looking unsure of herself? I’m sure I don;t need to state the obvious.
I won’t want you to misunderstand what I am trying to say, a woman is completely responsible for the way she feels about herself, but in a relationship, a woman’s partner is a huge factor in how she sees herself and this factor affects some women more than others.
But wait, this is not a one way street, women are also responsible for how they make their men feel. Remember that men also want attention.
I found this piece online and I thought it was interesting. The person who posted this claims it was written by Brad Pitt about his wife, although I doubt the authenticity of this, it still rings very true and I believe men can learn a thing or two from it…
“My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children. She has lost 30 pounds and weighted about 90 pounds in her 35 years. She got very skinny, and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day.
Our relationship was on the verge of break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon…
But then I decided to act on it. After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on the earth. She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her shoulders. I began to pamper her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised her and pleased her every minute. I gave her lots of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends. You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became even better than before. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and she loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CANlove that much. And then I realized one thing: The woman is the reflection of her man. If you love her to the point of madness, she will become it. ” – A Secret of Love
I think men should learn to make their women feel “like the only woman in the world” (in Rihanna’s voice). Do you men know the secret to having peace in your relationships/marriages? The secret is a happy and fulfilled woman. Let your woman glow with your love and affection.
I’m sure you ladies will agree with me on this one *winks*