There are times in life when you’re not ‘here’ but you’re not exactly ‘there’ either. Stay with me, i’ll explain further.
These are the times when you’re ‘in-between phases’ of your life. And it feels like you are stuck and unable to move forward.
So how do you recognise when you are in this ‘in-between phase?’ It comes in different forms for different people, but there is a general vibe you get, a nagging feeling in your mind and heart telling you that it’s time to move on to something else, something new.
There is no science behind this, I wish there was so I can give you research figures and stuff. But nevertheless, i’m sure you or someone you know has experienced this feeling before. Well, if no one in your physical life has, at least someone in your virtual life has. Who? Me of course!
Okay enough with the ramblings. I can tell you first-hand that it’s a rather frustrating place to be. But of course, this doesn’t mean the world has ended and you should jump down from two flights of stairs. There are ways to deal with being stuck there, and I’ll share them with you, right after we paint pictures to understand it better.
1. So as a fresh secondary school graduate, you’ve gotten admission into a university, you’re all set to “kee dem” at your first year as an undergraduate, already planned your matriculation outfit sef, but the school is yet to set a resumption date, and you’re just there, not knowing what to do with yourself.
2. You’re in-between finishing NYSC and getting a really amazing job. You are so ready to go into the workforce as a professional (not Frank Donga oh!) but things are moving really slowly, you’ve been waiting for weeks to get your employment letter but it isn’t forthcoming. Because of all the scary unemployment tales you’ve heard, you are scared of staying at home for years without a job and this makes you very apprehensive.
3. You’re in between two positions at work, you’ve been at this position for 10 years and your boss has assured you that a promotion is in the works and has even given you a timeline for when the promotion letter will come. But weeks have passed, the timeline has been crossed, but still no word and your boss keeps assuring you that you will get the promotion. You don’t know what to do with yourself at this point because you feel unsettled.
4. You’ve been friends with her for years, and it is clear that you’re both in love. You know it’s time to take things to the next level, to start a serious relationship, but she keeps saying the time isn’t right. Now you have to wait till she finally realises that the time is right. You’re scared of being stuck in the dreaded friend zone forever, but she has assured you that you both will definitely end up together, so you need to force yourself to be patient.
So how do you deal with being stuck in life’s in-between phases?
First of all, you should know that the situation is beyond your control and nothing you do will have that much effect on how quickly the next phase of your life comes. Also, understand that everything happens in it’s own time, and pray for patience to wait for things to fall into place.
Secondly, focus on improving yourself. I am of the school of thought that you should prepare yourself for opportunities so that when they come knocking, you will be able to grab them. While waiting for the next phase, find yourself- discover what sets your soul on fire, do things that make you happy and things that will improve you physically, mentally, emotionally and any other “-ally” and time will pass before you know it.
Have you ever found yourself stuck in one of life’s in-betweens? Share your story in the comment section, let us know how you were able to deal with it. Someone somewhere will definitely learn from it. In fact I will learn a few more things.
If you would like to read about life’s in-betweens from another perspective, you should check out this post