I always say that no human can love you as wholly and completely as you can love yourself. Too many things happen to different people that could easily be avoided if they loved, understood and appreciated themselves more.
When you love yourself, you will avoid being mistreated or disrespected – you will basically avoid being treated less than you deserve.
Having little or no self confidence is as a result of the absence of self love and in my opinion, being unnecessarily envious of others also shows a lack of self love. What other instances would you say are caused by the lack of self love?
Okay, let’s take a step back and ask ourselves, what is self love?
The dictionary will probably tell you something like “self love is regard for one’s own happiness or advantage”
To me, self love is the understanding and appreciation of oneself. What does self love mean to you?
Loving yourself a little bit more can affect every aspect of your life. It can affect your approach towards work, it can affect your interaction with others and can even influence your choice of a partner.
If you find that your self love tank isn’t so full, don’t worry, because it is something that can be developed. Just like you develop love for another person, you can also develop love for yourself and I know this for a fact.
How can you develop self love?
There are a number of exercises that you can carry out to help you love yourself more. I’ll be sharing what has worked for me. You’re going to need a pen and notepad for this.
Shall we begin?
#1- Get to know yourself:
A part of developing self-love is knowing and understand yourself, knowing what you’re about and what you stand for. You can start by writing down 20 things about yourself.
#2- Get to know some more:
Write down at least 5 things you consider flaws, acknowledging them is the first step. You can then find ways to work on them and turn them into strengths. Now write 10 things you like and admire about yourself. You can only appreciate what you know about right? So get to know you!
#3- What makes you tick?
Now let’s go a little deeper. Think about where you stand concerning different areas of life, e.g. love, spirituality, friendship, family etc. Write down your thoughts and values concerning each aspect of life.
#4- Come to terms with your strengths and weaknesses:
Write down 5 things you’re very good at and 5 things you need to improve on (feel free to add more if it exceeds 5). Once you’ve recognized and accepted where your strengths and weaknesses lie, you would be able to appreciate yourself more, and focus on improving your weak points.
Write down all the goals you’ve set and accomplished so far, no matter how small. It could be a goal to try and be more polite or a goal to drink water more often. Whatever it is, just put it down. This will give you a sense of accomplishment and make you feel good about yourself. While you’re at it, you can challenge yourself to set more goals.
#6– Surround yourself with good people
When trying to build self love, it is important for you to be deliberate with the company you keep. You should steer clear of toxic people because they can affect how you see and feel about yourself. Toxic people never have any good thing to say or anything valuable to add to your life. Instead, surround yourself with great people, people that are capable of seeing the greatness in you and encourage you to reach your full potential.
And that’s it! Yaay!
So if you took this exercise, let me know how you felt afterwards in the comments section. Also, if you have any other self-love techniques, share with us, you just might be saving a life.
This blog post was originally posted on misspurpleheart.com in September, 2014 and edited in April, 2018.